From The Onion:

Thousands More Dead In Continuing Iraq Victory

America marks three and a half years of winning in Iraq, and nearly 3,000 victory deaths
December 18, 2006 | Issue 42•51

Statistics released by the Department Of Defense estimated that 2,937 U.S. troops and over 100,000 Iraqi civilians have died in the ongoing American military victory in Iraq.

General George Casey, Jr. lauds “another plainly measurable step” in America’s victory.

“Victory deaths are at a higher level than we had anticipated, yes,” Gen. George Casey, Jr. said at a press conference shortly after the figures were released.